Don’t bother using a translator, some of it wouldn’t even make sense to regular Romanians.

Iti dai seama ca esti din Cluj daca…

1. …te-ai săturat să vezi statuia lui Matei Corvin acoperită de schele;
2. …nu știi care sunt străzile Bolyai Janos, Hermann Oberth sau I.C. Brătianu, deși treci zilnic pe ele; numești strada I.M. Klein – strada cu Bulgakovu’ și Iuliu Maniu – strada în oglindă;
3. …ajungi mai repede la Viena decât la București;
4. …faci diferența dintre Nico și Big Apple;
5. …știi de ce a ars de fapt Janis Stuf;
6. …ai trăit experiența șaselui de dimineață;
7. …te-ai enervat când ai văzut „noua” Piață a Unirii;
8. …știi înjura la fel de bine, atât în română, cât și în maghiară;
9. …numești Bucureștiul „Lamitici” ;
10. …știi cine își dă întâlnire noaptea în Parcul Mare și în Pădurea Hoia-Baciu;
11. …știi tot felul de povești ciudate despre catacombele din Piața Unirii, Anna Báthory, sau casele de toleranță de pe actuala stradă Dragalina;
12. …trăiești într-un oraș cosmopolit: tramvaiele sunt nemțești, autobuzele franțuzești etc.;
13. …ai auzit de locuri precum Someșul Rece, Șuncuiuș, Poiana Zânelor;
14. …asculți „Radio Impuls” de dimineață;
15. …faci diferența dintre moți și mocani;
16. …știi ce este un mitic și un sudist;
17. …te întâlnești cu prietenii „la clopot” sau „la coada calului”;
18. …îți duci prietenii străini în Janis;
19. …când vrei să-ți faci abonament pe transportul în comun, ai nevoie de poză, bani (mărunți!), și mult timp la dispoziție;
20. …eviți mașinile cu numerele IF, IL, MH, DB și știi că toate mașinile cu număr de București sunt, de fapt, luate în leasing;
21. …respecți așa cum se cuvine o Varză á la Cluj, o sticlă de Ursus și un Vargabéles;
22. …te întrebi de ce e orașul atât de aglomerat la ora la care oamenii ar trebui să fie la serviciu;
23. …habar n-ai de ce pe dealul care oferă cea mai mare vizibilitate din oraș e o cruce imensă;
24. …știi cine au fost Lulu, Ionică şi Generalu și apariția unui individ îmbrăcat din cap până-n picioare în culori fosforescente nu te mai surprinde;
25. …numele a peste jumătate dintre colegii tăi de clasă se termina în „-an”;
26. …știi ce înseamnă lucicoș, a duhăni, fercheș, mintenaș și a țuca;
27. …când erai mic, te dădeai în „hintă”, trăgeai linii drepte cu un „liniar” și jucai mâță fără să știi ce-i aia „leapșă”;
28. …recunoști „boactării” înainte să se suie în troleibuz;
29. …ești student la / ai absolvit / predai la / lucrezi pentru / ai avut cel puțin de câteva ori în viață de-a face cu Universitatea Babeș-Bolyai;
30. …știi că Piezișa nu e o stradă, e o atitudine;
…faci diferența dintre „servus” și „servustoc”, știi ce înseamnă „Szia!”și te uiți ciudat dacă cineva te salută cu „Bună!”;
31. …ai fost cel puțin o dată la băut pe Cetățuie;
32. …90% din călătorii de pe autobuz au peste dublul vârstei tale;
33. ..știi ce este kürtős kalács și chiar îți place;
34. …ai fost pe platoul Sălii Sporturilor, la Festivalul Berii;
35. …știi cel puțin 5 moduri de ajunge din Piața Avram Iancu în Piața Păcii;
36. …ești convins că Clujul e cel mai „fain” oraș din țară și ai spus cel puțin o dată că ar trebui să fie capitala României;
37. …îți amintești de când s-a schimbat traseul șaptelui și de toți cei care încurcau troleibuzele;
38. …toate locurile au pentru tine două silabe: Memo, Doro, Cetă, Inso, Matei;
39. …știi că U e mai mult decât o literă din alfabet;
40. …te întrebi zilnic dacă avionul ăsta o să aterizeze în capăt pe Dorobanților;
41. …„îți iei palme” dacă trimiți o fată pe Calea Turzii;
42. …știi că Avram, Matei și Mihai nu sunt simple nume;
43. …folosești „no” și „ioi” ca semne de punctuație;
44. …ai mâncat cel puțin o dată pită cu unsoare și ceapă în baruri;
45. …când spui de unde ești, lumea te întreabă de Funar;
46. …cunoști locuri precum B-dul Petru Groza, Str. 6 Martie, Piața Libertății sau Parcul Engels;
47. …ai colegi „de facultă”, cu care ai cursuri „pe 8”;
48. …România de dincolo de Apahida are pentru tine o existență mai mult teoretică;
49. …toate mărcile par a începe cu „Napo” sau a se termina în „de Cluj”;
50. …ai murit de râs când ai auzit primele 3 reclame de la ERDEESH și restu’ ți s-au părut comerciale;
51. …rostești „oa” într-un singur sunet;
52. …îți amintești când Diesel era singurul bar nou din centru, iar Metro singurul magazin mare de lângă oraș;
53. …asculți Paprika Radio, chiar dacă nu știi ungurește;
54. …știi că Bulgaria nu o e țară, Observatorul nu-i observator, Irisul nu-i neapărat o parte a ochiului, Bună Ziua e mai mult decât un salut, Dâmbul nu-i un dâmb oarecare, Chios nu e o insulă din Grecia, iar Borhanci nu-i un nume de țigan;
55. …ai șezut vreodată pe o bancă „tricoloră”;
56. …cel puțin o treime din oraș se află în spate la Sora;
57. …schimbi avioanele la Budapesta;
58. …folosești denumiri prescurtate – BCU, UBB, FSEGA și te aștepți ca toată lumea să știe ce înseamnă;
59. …mergi la Tarnița ca la piscină, numa’ că mai off-road;
60. …ai auzit de Rozi și de Rabă și-ți pare rău că nu mai sunt la televizor;
61. …nu ești surprins când cineva îți spune că locuiește „în groapă”;
62. …dacă ştii că la tăţi ni-i greu

]]> http://www.ralucabucur.com/blog/?feed=rss2&p=196 http://www.ralucabucur.com/blog/?p=167 http://www.ralucabucur.com/blog/?p=167#comments Sun, 07 Feb 2010 16:38:29 +0000 Raluca http://www.ralucabucur.com/blog/?p=167

So I was wrong. We DID get snowed in. But I’m still not sorry (yet) for not charging the grocery stores and grabbing random stuff just in case the storm lasts for ever.

We tried to make the most of it: had fun with the dog and attempted to walk to the local CVS. This is what one of the main roads in our area looked like:

It was difficult to tell where the road was and where the sidewalks were. So we used the road.

There was an ambulance stuck in the intersection. We walked up to the driver to see if he needed help. He said he already called for help. We didn’t realize it at the time but he was taking someone to the hospital. I can’t imagine being that emergency patient and hearing the ambulance stop suddenly with no way to get anywhere.

It did kind of look like a snowpocalypse. When you walk in this type of weather, it’s easy to believe that this is the way it’s going to be from now on.

The CVS was - surprisingly - open. So was the Giant although we didn’t see anyone inside. The only other thing open was Domino’s and those guys were even delivering. I hope people gave them some serious tips.

On our way back, the ambulance was still there but in the meantime another ambulance came by and they were transferring the person who was stuck in the first ambulance into the second one since there was no way the stuck ambulance was going to make it out. There were two trucks trying to pull the ambulance out of the snow bank. Not sure with what kind of success.

We made it back, felt like heroes, shoveled for the rest of the day, barely made a dent in the driveway.

At least the dog was happy.

Herta Muller was the recipient of the Nobel Prize for literature in 2009. She was born in Romania and emigrated to Germany where she continued writing. In German.

Her Nobel prize-winning book’s title can be translated as “Even then the fox was the hunter” and it tells the story of a group of people living the last months (or years?) of communism in a city that - we can only guess - is Timisoara, Romania.

But I guess “tells the story” is an exaggeration. Herta Muller doesn’t tell a story. She lays on the page a series of visual metaphors that end up, like a giant ideatic puzzle, crystallizing into a story with actual characters, plots, twists and turns building up to a breathless escape from the city by two of what turn out to be principal characters. You have to read between the lines of what feels like a stream-of-consciousness-babble with essential parts of the plot being buried within matter-of-fact details describing the slight flutter of a leaf or the look of the wrinkles on a trolley bus.

I really wanted to like this book. I’m happy and hopeful every time Romania is in the news for something other than orphans, Dracula or yet another corruption scandal. So even though Herta is not really Romanian and she wrote the book in German, the story is that of life in communist Romania - I would say it qualifies as a non-negative Romanian story.

Herta Muller was criticized for, allegedly, portraying Romanians as opressors of the German minority in Romania. I didn’t see any of that in this book. There were some references to Hungarians (there is one Hungarian who gets interrogated by the secret police) but I was mostly distracted by the fact that all Hungarian names and words were misspelled. Maybe some other books? I happen to think that, at least in Transylvania, everyone was equally opressed by the communists. Also, everyone probably felt more opressed than the other person. But that’s not something you brag about.

But once you get past the shattered glass-like writing and you manage to find the words that actually make up the story, the feel of that world comes crashing into you. And you realize that the small details in fact tell a parallel story of the fear and lack of hope and smells and hidden thoughts that are larger than the small life we used to live in.

I’m wondering if someone who didn’t grow up there has the same reaction since a lot of these visual details are so intimately linked to a world that no longer exists and when it did exist, it was behind an impenetrable iron curtain.

And I ended up really liking the book. It’s like stuffed cabbage: an acquired taste.

1.A good night’s sleep

2.Finding a forgotten tenner in your pocket

3.Cuddling up with a partner in bed

4.Crying with laughter

5.Having a lie-in

6.Sleeping in newly laundered bedding

7.Getting a bargain

8.Making someone smile

9.Catching up with an old friend

10.Laughing at things that have happened in the past

11.Eating a Sunday roast with your family

12.Someone saying you look nice

13.Curling up on the sofa with a good book and a hot drink or soup

14.Discovering you’ve lost a few pounds

15.Breakfast in bed

16.Waking up thinking it’s a work day and then realising it’s the weekend

17.A random person smiling at you in the street

18.Looking through old photo albums

19.Eating a takeaway

20.First snow fall of the year

21.Singing your heart out to your favourite song in car

22.Having lunch with friends

23.Listening to a baby laughing

24.Having a massage

25.Reading a book or listening to your iPod on holiday by the pool

26.Playing in snow

27.Finding a pair of jeans that fit perfectly

28.Being chatted up

29.A girly-night in

30.A pampering session at home

31.The smell of freshly cut grass

32.Sitting in the pub with your friends

33.Looking at a baby asleep in a cot

34.Waking up in a room with an amazing view

35.Clothes shopping

36.Receiving a letter from a friend

37.Fitting into an old pair of jeans again after losing some weight

38.Staying up all night getting to know someone special

39.Your mum’s cooking

40.Getting dressed up for a night out

41.Watching a live band

42.Drinking a cold beer after work

43.Browsing in a secondhand book shop

44.Going to the cinema

45.Getting a new hairstyle

46.Your queue being the quickest in the supermarket

47.The cold side of the pillow

48.Watching a DVD

49.Getting tipsy

50.Popping bubble wrap

Original list here

Via Jezebel (sleeping trumps skinny)

Sleepers - Sleepers are people who got a Facebook account maybe because someone sent them an invite when they were doing that whole “find your friends on Facebook” thing and they wanted to check it out or maybe at some point they wanted to see a picture that someone uploaded to Facebook so they created an account, looked at a thing or two and then forgot about it completely. They are non-users but don’t want to go through the trouble of deleting their account.

Verdict: meh. Keep’em. Just in case sometime, in the remote future, you want to tell them: you can check it out on Facebook.

Lurkers - the Lurkers are not as passive as the Sleepers but they are not active either. They do sign in from time to time but they don’t post pictures, don’t comment and, most of all, they don’t set or change their status. They do, however, check out other people’s stuff so that when you see them and start telling them what’s been going on they tell you “Oh, I know you’ve been to Somethingville, I saw it on Facebook”. Thank you.

Verdict: Love’em. Keep’em. They’re harmless and, most of all, you know that with the Lurkers you’ve done your job of keeping your friends in the loop and can be the laziest friend ever without feeling guilty.

Scoopers - This is one of my favorite categories. The Scoopers give you the scoop. Only what matters, only the interesting stuff. From the Scoopers you can find out if the restaurant that opened up on the corner of Old Street and Weird Street is good or not and you get the scoop on the latest, greatest viral videos on the Internets. They tell you if they ate something amazing (and where exactly) but they don’t give you a constant stream of food information like, for instance, “Eating a cookie” or “Drinking some wine”. Who cares that you’re eating a cookie? But, on the other hand, if you just ate the most amazing cookie in the world, dammit, I want to know where I can get one and how much it is.

Verdict: keep’em. Love’em. Give back every once in a while. Seriously: come out of your lurking and tell us about your favorite place sometime.

Blabbers - Oh, the blabbers. The blabbers are putting out a constant stream of unfiltered information - most of it stuff that you really didn’t need or want to know. “Drinking my morning coffee”. “Eating lunch”. “Going to the gym”. “Watching a movie”. “Going to bed”. And back to the morning coffee again. In case you haven’t noticed yet, nobody cares. Tell us something we don’t already know.

Verdict: hide’em. Don’t unfriend them yet - hopefully at some point they will figure out the fact that Facebook can do other stuff too like link to articles, post pictures, or poke someone. Ok, forget the poking…

Twitter blabbers - “@someone Haha!That’s a good one #funnythings”. “@someonelse totally #uninteresting #notfunny #whocares”. The Twitter Blabbers are worse than the Blabbers. They put out a constant stream of consciousness but from Twitter. They rarely ever check Facebook and are probably very proud of themselves for covering all bases from one app.  Congratulations. You’ve managed to involve us in your Twitter conversations that we don’t give a crap about AND managed to annoy everyone in the process. Do us a favor and install selective twitter status. The world will thank you.

Verdict: unfriend. Or hide if you really care about them. Oh, and tell them to install selective twitter.

Narcissists - We get it. You’re pretty. But trust us: nobody wants to see more than five pictures of you at one time - even if they are in various poses and with various backgrounds. Well, unless you’re Heidi Klum and/or naked. Are you naked? Nope. Are you an actress/model? Nope. (or if you are, congratulations: there’s a thing called “portfolio” for your pictures and it’s not on Facebook). So maybe limit your self-pics to one a month? Mkay? Thanks.

Verdict: hide. Don’t burn bridges but don’t keep on your stream.

WhoTheHellIsThis?-es - So there’s this guy you think you knew in high school (or your former job, or your previous life) and you don’t really know his name but you think you recognized his picture so you accept his friend request. And he lurks for a while but then he occasionally turns into a babbler. He’s got over three thousand friends but never says anything remotely interesting. And every time he goes through the babbling phase you go “WhoTheHellIsThis? Oh, right. That guy”. Believe me: he doesn’t know your name either. He has no idea who you are. He just friended you because he saw on his stream that another one of his friends he doesn’t know friended you so you’re just another step towards his four thousand friends-goal and nothing more than that.

Verdict: unfriend.  You’ll never miss them.

Players - SuchAndSuch is looking for a contract killer to take out Such in Mafia Wars. Nobody cares. Move on.

Verdict: undfriend. Unless you like to play in which case I can warmly recommend Second Life.

Stalkers - OK, stalkers are a bit more difficult of a category. Maybe because they are an ex and you feel guilty about how things ended (did you REALLY need to have them arrested for trespassing when they came to pick up their stuff from your place after they dumped you?) or maybe you need to thread carefully because, well, they’re your boss or an extremely nosy co-worker. They love to post awkward comments on your wall or press “like” on a depressing post. They also love to remind you that you should be working rather than posting an article from Perez Hilton in the middle of the afternoon. Like that ever made anyone less productive…

Verdict: add them to your limited profile. I know, I know, it’s a pain in the butt and there’s a lot of RTFM but it’s worth it.

I’m sure there’s a few that I’ve left out. If you have some categories of your own you think I’ve missed, feel free to add.

Also, I’m sure I’ve fallen in one or more of these categories myself. Eh. Whatchagonnado, right?

Black Friday via Google Images

Black Friday in the US is not, as one would expect, a bleak, sad, dark day. Oddly enough, this day is about shopping.

Black Friday is the Friday after Thanksgiving and the term is said to have come from accounting and it means that retailers would make enough money on this day to put them “in the black” as opposed to “in the red” - which is bad. Being in the red means you’re losing money.

So black = good. Got it?

Now to fully understand the importance of Black Friday you need to understand the importance of shopping. Shopping is a national pastime in the US. In other countries people generally shop if they need something. It is a mundane thing: you go out when you run out of milk or bread or shoes (it can happen) or if your computer broke or if you accidentally dropped your cell phone in the toilet. That, I’ve learned from experience, happens more often than one would think.

In the US, however, shopping is the ends, not the means for some. You have nothing to do on a Saturday? You go to the mall and shop. A friend is in town? You go shopping. Macy’s has a sale? You’re sooo there, even if you don’t necessarily need anything from Macy’s.

The power of the sale is humbling. People look for “the sales”  in the Sunday newspaper and they go to the store because “there’s a sale”  not because “I really need new socks”.

Which brings us to Black Friday. Black Friday is the day when everything is on sale. Everyone has a deal and the deals are supposed to be so amazing that people line up the day before just to make sure that they don’t miss it.

Speaking of which, lines in the US are not your average lines: they are generally organized, people don’t “cut” the line (or else that little old lady will give you apiece of her mind!) and this year I heard they even gave out numbers so that everyone knew their exact place and was admitted in the store based on his or her number. I guess the fact that last year someone got trampled to death in a Wal Mart really made people reevaluate the way they stand in lines, right?

Aaanywhoo, on Black Friday, after - gasp! - Thanksgiving Thursday the stores have been closed all day, people go and shop ’til they drop. Sometimes quite literally.

So what do people shop for? It doesn’t matter. In the words of one lovely woman who was interviewed this morning on WJLA “you look for the deal. We were just grabbing everything that was a good deal”. Ok then.

But you know what? It is more satisfying than you would think. I will be bragging for years to come about my $60 boots that I  got on Black Friday. And, damn, I never knew I needed them but they were such a good deal.

It was even worse that, when we got to the theater at 6 PM there were no lines and no crowds waiting to get inside. But it may just have been too early…

At 6:30 we headed in and the theater was mostly empty. Slowly though, people started showing up and by 7 there was a good crowd although still not what I would call a full house.

And then the technical difficulties started. After about half an hour of tinkering with the projector, the management of the place decided to move everyone into a different theater because, clearly, the problem could not be solved.

We almost gave up on seeing the movie - most people just asked for a refund and left - but finally sat down in the “8 o’clock theater” and after another what seemed like a half hour of coming attractions, the movie started.

Now this was basically a cut of footage from a series of rehearsals over a period of a few months (from April to June, I believe) and it’s a pretty amazing thing in itself that people would sit for two hours and watch someone’s rehearsals. But Kenny Ortega - who clearly had a very personal and close relationship with Michael - has an uncanny ability to highlight the key moments of this unfinished project and bring to life a very real, humane, kind and likeable Jackson.

The most touching thing to me was the way the movie evokes Michael through the eyes of others. His carefully selected dancers are in awe of him and - in a series of interviews done right after they were selected to be part of the “lead dancers” group - they spill their guts and let their emotions have the best of them while talking about what being on the same stage with Michael means to them. It is very honest and quite touching.

MJ’s stage performance is clearly not the same as it would have been had he been performing in front of hundreds of thousands. Michael is very leisurely even though he is an amazing professional and takes all the little moves very seriously. But his movements are somewhat unfinished: his knees and elbows are soft all the time and he never fully extends his arms and legs like the dancers around him do.

He does seem to be enjoying singing and dancing - even if his performance appears to be internalized. He closes his eyes and sort of moves for himself every once in a while. He is painfully thin and, by the way, can anyone tell me what is the deal with his hands? They seem disproportionally large compared to the rest of him. It was very distracting, especially since I don’t remember ever noticing that before about him.

In any event, it’s amazing to see how MJ works with the musicians, the dancers, the singers: he’s very hands-on and very careful to not offend anyone when asking for more from the musicians or expressing dissatisfaction with something. If he had his “diva” moments, they are not in this movie.

The highlight of the show for me was his performance with this guitar chick (Orianthi something - definitely in need of a name change) who rocked Eddie Van Halen’s solo from “Beat It” and who is as hot as she is talented. I hope she doesn’t get lost and that she gets a good record deal out of this whole thing.

All in all, it’s good, fun, sweet, intense and it makes you wish, really, really wish that this was indeed what Michael Jackson was like. And then it makes you wish he could have lived a little bit more as THIS Michael and not what we saw in the past years of his life.

We went to the National Harbor this weekend. The intention was to go to the jazz festival that was happening there but we left the house too late, fumbled with other stuff and got there around 6 or so.

That wouldn’t be so bad in itself but once we got there, we couldn’t find the venue. There were signs to be sure but they ALL said “make U-turn, then follow the signs”. We made the first U-turn, got to the next sign which said “make a U-turn” which sounded quite fishy. But wWe made a couple more U-turns (what do they say about insanity?) and when the next sign said the same thing we just parked in a garage and tried walking.

The parking attendant pointed us in the general direction of the venue and we followed his instructions until we got to the water and the path ended. Then we stopped.

Our friends were already at the concert and told us that it was basically a ghost town and not worth the $25 that we were ready to pay as soon as we found the freakin’ place. But we didn’t find it so we decided to just have dinner instead.

I was excited to try Rosa Mexicano since the one downtown DC is so popular. And that’s where the positives pretty much end.

We had to wait 45 minutes for a table, the service was unbelievably slow, we were starving by the time we sat down and the chips and salsa were $3.99. When the food came, most of it was dry from sitting under the heating lamp and the portions were about half of what you would get at, say, Chevy’s.

But, overall, good times because the light in the marina was amazing and I got to take some cool pictures.

All the geysers at Yellowstone are hot and while a not-so-long time ago people used to launder their clothes in (or on?) Old Faithful nowadays you can’t even get close to the edge of the water. Not even to dip one little finger in.

Probably for the best since some of these pools are boiling hot.

The Abyss Pool is hypnotic. You could stare into it for hours - it looks bottomless and it is an unnatural blue-ish green. This photo doesn’t do it justice.

I think it’s beautiful. Almost makes me want to get married again.

It is Oscar de la Renta and you can see some more of this collection here:

http://jezebel.com/5361051/it-was-impossible-not-to-smile-at-oscar-de-la-renta-well-almost/gallery/